As you can see my blog title is "Empire State of Mind"...Empire being the Empire State Building in NYC. Normally the term would be "New York State of Mind" but since there is a new song out by Jay Z & Alicia Keys with the other title...I thought it was a new twist on something old. Kinda like fashion. Which is me...in a nutshell.
I was going to write about my hot chocolate and how it relates to New York...but due to some recent occurrences, I think I will write about hot chocolate AND New York.
New York. If you know me you also know that I am a fish out of water being here in Minnesota. Five years ago I made the transition of being an administrative assistant at a lame brain family run appraisal company (which taught me NEVER work for a family owned/run business EVER again) to a die-hard sales rep in the fashion industry. It was all by chance but every bit of it...for a reason. The transition started here in MN but after a year- and some serious dedication- a job offer and relocation to NY. I was... In. Heaven. I didn't get to live in the city because it is a well known fact that the NYPS (New York Public Schools) suck. There are a few gems out there...but you have to live in neighborhoods that I could not even begin to afford to attend them. Vlad was about to start school...and my son comes first...so Jersey it was. Yeah yeah yeah...dirty Jersey. I know. But you know what- the schools there- AMAZING. And there are trees, and parks, ocean front beach houses, boardwalks, and public transportation...it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Back to the subject at hand...
I was in love. And the people...sooooooo nice! I didn't have one horrible snotty encounter! They were kind, helpful, caring, hard working and willing to take a chance on me. My days consisted of commuting into the city via train (about 35-45 minutes) on the NJ Transit Montclair-Boonton line into Penn Station, walking six blocks to 39th & Broadway where the company showroom was located...working...then repeating the process when going home (but occasionally adding in a stop at Macy's, H&M or the various shoe stores on 7th Ave). It's hard to depict what I felt while I was out there. It was a ginormous bubble of opportunity. Streets that went for miles, beautiful parks that lay in the middle of a metal & concrete kingdom with a good blend of antique and new age design, hustle and bustle of appointments to get to, packages to deliver, movie sets, waiters moving at the speed of light (and with that food that makes you melt), celebrities in their natural habitats, diversity and culture around every corner, fashion at its best and shopping...ohhhh the shopping! I was meant to be there...to find myself and learn.
In the end, being there is what provoked serious change in my family- all for the better- and then in the end- my return back to Minnesota. I learned so much about myself in those three years of being there (which is an entirely different post to come. And just so you know...it's true- if you can make it there- you can make it anywhere!) Even though I left before I was ready- I am thankful...and happy. You see- I didn't leave because I had had enough...I left because I was caught in between a rock and a hard place. I learned the hard way (per the usual) that this industry that I had such passion for had some very dark, evil, kick you while you're down sides. I learned that as much as I loved what I did- unless I was with the right company with the right product- I was miserable. I also learned that unemployment does not always pay 50% of your income which in-turn, does not allow you to pay your rent when you are a single parent living on your own...w/o roommates. I was able to leave on a bittersweet note. I admitted defeat on the job front but yet I wanted more. I left loving that city even more than I did going out there. I could have left angry, upset, hating it...leaving because we never quite meshed as a duo- but we did and I was just able to accept that I needed to be done. For now.
People ask me if I miss it. My answer each time: "Every single day...multiple times a day." Which usually follows asking if I will go back out there. My answer: "Yes...when I can swing them-long weekends...and maybe more long term when Vlad has grown up and moved out." I'm no dummy. After what we have been through I know he needs to be here. He needs family (what little he has). He needs his brother and sister. He needs to not have his mom over-worked and miserable in a crappy sales job to just keep a float. I get that. And that's why I admitted defeat. Granted, moving & settling back in Minnesota is going down in the record books as one of the most stressful and rocky returns home ever...we are still better off learning the lessons that we did and being in the mental state of mind that we are now...rather than what we could have been.
Which brings me to what my original subject was...hot chocolate.
So when I started working in the city- my boss introduced me to this place called Pret-A-Manger...he actually introduced me to a whole lot more than some retarded breakfast/lunch chain with locations all over Manhattan...minor things like: NY, company paid travel, sushi, sales bonuses and even what its like to have all of that removed & revoked...for no good FUCKING reason. Anyway - ahhhhh Pret...sweet sweet Pret. The place that provided me with nourishment & hydration for three years. Its funny- out of all the places to suggest for people to visit when in NYC- this is one of the FIRST things I mention (after it comes Serendipity iii on the Upper East Side, Lazarra's Pizza on 7th & 38th, Balthazar in SoHo, Chinatown and Century 21) . Its affordable, organic, quality, on nearly every block and amazing. And lets face it- a 12oz, $3.00 spectacular latte in NY- unheard of! At this point- unheard of even in Minnesota! Anyway- I am not a huge coffee person- but I did enjoy their lattes (with 2 sugars and extra foam) from time to time. Now what I loved- their HOT CHOCOLATE. You may think its silly to love a good cup of hot chocolate- however- I do not. My passion for HC started when I was a young girl and had some outside of Daytons in downtown Minneapolis after a viewing of the 8th floor holiday show. It changed my life. My mom learned it was Ghiridelli and even though we bought the powder...somehow the excellence of the cup outside that day was never repeated. Until I landed in NY and went to Pret. I am not 18 anymore and in turn- a bit more forgetful so I actually can't remember my exact first cup this time around- but I have a vivid, spectacular, life changing memory of Bryant Park, the ice skating rink, my iPod, a warm Pret harvest cookie and a Pret cup of cocoa.
Since returning to MN in April 2008, I've found go through bouts of depression not being in NY. I cry at any given moment watching Sex and the City, Castle, Law and Order, Elf, Home Alone 2, seeing FB posts and other randomly triggered NY memories. One of them has been the lack of that hot chocolate...so I took on a mission. I called it Project: Fill-My-Cup. I have spent the last year and a half trying to get either the hot chocolate itself or supplier info out of Pret. They would not budge. At first I started with corporate...and after they shot me down...a couple of times- I randomly started calling the locations that I visited. I think I have talked to six of them. The last one...the diamond in the rough. I am not sure if the manager was annoyed or, frankly, just didn't give a shit but after a short conversation and a tiny bit of begging...she said "all I know is it says 'Equal Exchange'" and then she practically hung up on me. I uttered- "thank you...I will work with that!!" and she was gone. Moments later I found the website and was on the phone with a customer service person...BAM- confirmation was made and I was ordering. When the agent- Sharon- heard my address got excited and said "Oh- St Paul huh?! We have a warehouse there!" Yep- my hot chocolate right in my city! But not just right in my city...3 BLOCKS away!! By 4pm that afternoon I was picking up two canisters (with a third complimentary canister of their spicy cocoa to try) and a 1/2 gallon of milk. By 8:30pm my New York mug was filled with chocolate goodness and I was in my happy place of NY in my mind...albeit by proxy...through a simple, delectable cup of cocoa.
So- New York...here's to you...and all that you have given me...and all that you will continue to give until the end of time. CHEERS!
"In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
there's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York,
the streets will make you feel brand new,
big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York"
